Go shawty, it's ya birthday

Birthdays... we all have them. We either celebrate them in a big or small way. With family and friends or with others. I like to think that God continued to keep me on this Earth for a reason. I like to think that I have a purpose to continue this journey called life. Throughout this journey, I've learned multiple things. Therefore, celebrating my 19th anniversary of being expelled from a uterus aka my birthday, I would like to talk about 19 things I've learned in my life so far.

1. Some people are seasonal

When I say some people are seasonal, I'm saying everyone will not be in your life forever. Meaning that they are temporarily there, others can remain in your life for a long time but I like to think that the people that come into my life are meant to teach me something and when it's time for them to leave my life, whatever they have taught me, I will use for my future endeavors.

2. Get rid of toxicity

A toxic person is someone that is emotionally draining. When you're around them you can't catch a break, they put all of their problems on you, or they just feel like a burden every time you're around them. Those are not people you need to associate yourself with. Most of the time we can't even deal with our problems, what makes people think that we want to deal with theirs? Someone that is a toxic person isn't probably going to know but if they continuously do something that is just draining to you emotionally then you should tell them, then they'll be aware of what they're doing and if they don't stop and they're aware. It's probably not best for you to keep that person around. Maybe the two of you will become friends again in the future but right now, y'all need time apart.

3. Actually, grow when you take time apart from someone

When you stop associating yourself with a toxic person or just a someone in general and you know that you don't want to be friends with them at the moment, you don't have to be. You guys can become friends again later in the future. But when you and this person stop being friends the two of you need to take time apart from each other and grow. Realize the mistakes you've made with this friendship, realize the things you want to do differently in your future friendships, and realize the certain things you tolerate and the things you don't tolerate. Being in a toxic friendship doesn't make you weak or it doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself, when you realize you're friends with a toxic person or a bad person in general, it will help you realize your worth and that will help you want to grow.

4. College is hard

If someone told you college is easy... they lied. College is something you will never be prepared for and that's okay. It's just going to take some getting used to. (Honestly, I can't even get anymore in depth about it, you just gotta see for yourself.)

5. Remove yourself from negative people or negative situation

My first year of college I lived with someone who was nothing, but a ball of negative energy and I still stayed there. If I could do things differently, I would leave. Don't continue to stay in a negative situation just because of your pride. It's not a good living environment and it's not healthy. Leaving from a negative environment or leaving a negative person behind doesn't make you weak it makes you strong because you know you're not about to let a person or a place make you go insane, you know what you want. Let that negative person continue to be miserable but you can flourish because they're not someone you have to worry about.

6. Know your limits

My junior year of high school I tried really hard to push myself to a whole nother level and when I would get so frustrated with the homework, after-school activities, sports, and a standardized test, I blew up. It's always good to know your limits and to not ever push yourself so hard. You know yourself better than anyone else therefore, you will know your limits. You know what your body can or can't take and you know what's good for you emotionally or not emotionally. If you've been studying two weeks before your biology exam and you've been studying day in and day out, try taking 30 minute or an hour break, try meeting up with your friends at the cafeteria or go to the lobby and see what's on the television. Don't overdo it because you will keep everything built up and you will crack.

7. Take days off for yourself but get back on the horse

Things will get hard; trust me I know. When things would get really complicated for me and I couldn't handle the pressure anymore I would take days off. For example, school, a school could be like a job for people. You have to wake up at a certain time and leave at a certain time, you have to get good grades to remain in school and you have a lunch break. It's okay to call off. If you're not scheduled for work and your boss asks you to come in, it's okay to say no. College taught me that when things get so overwhelming, it's okay to take a break. It's okay to spend days with yourself, it's okay to just sit in the dorm and watch rom-coms or take naps. But when the next day comes you have to freshen up and look yourself in the mirror and say you got this. After you've been knocked down, I know it's going to be hard, but you gotta get yourself back up. After something beats you down you gotta get yourself back up. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.

8. You're voice matters

As I have gotten older, I've realized that something people think is so small like their voice could be so powerful. We have a horrible government and I'm sure a lot of you guys are aware of that, but we have the power to change that. This entire generation has the power to change it and just saying something on social media or to a friend could have a huge impact on that person. I want you all to know that your voices matter and your opinions matter especially in certain cases like voting. If there are things you want to change then speak up. A lot of the reasons older people are intimidated but the millennials or generation Z because these generations know what they want, and they want to see change. The government and older folks that don't like change are the types of people that are intimidated by the people that use their voice to speak up. When you speak up and they try to stop you, don't, get louder.

9. Meet new people

When you get to college, meeting new people and befriending them could be crucial. I understand you have your friends back home, but you should still become friends with new people on your college campus. Those are the people that will be there for you at school and your friends back at home aren't going to be at school with you. You will be spending months at a whole new school in a whole new area and you're going to need people that are going through the same thing as you to stick by your side.

10. You don't owe anyone an explanation

When I say you don't owe anyone an explanation, you don't. Say, for example, you've been friends with someone for a long time and they've just continuously treated you like trash and you haven't done anything but been a good friend. If you want to spare the drama and leave them behind because you know what's best for you, you can do that, and you do not have to owe that person any explanation as to why you left. Let them think about the things they did and how you were a good friend and hopefully, that'll help them realize that they lost something good.

11. You don't owe anyone an explanation (2.0)

A college is a place where you will meet new people and you guys will talk about things you have in common or you guys will talk about some trials you all have been through but if a person keeps pushing you to tell them about something you don't have to. I met this guy at school and me and him became cool, all I wanted my first year was to have friends and become cool with people but when it came to relationships and a lot of that personal business, he just kept asking me about it and at first it wasn't bad it could be something like "Do you have a boyfriend?" but it started to get invasive and annoying like "Why don't you wanna be in a relationship?" "Why don't you want to give ______ a try?" And it came to the point where I wouldn't respond or where I wouldn't acknowledge him anymore. If someone keeps asking you something and you don't want to answer, you don't.

12. You can cut ties with anyone

I've realized that anyone could be toxic, that could be a friend, a relative, even a sibling but when it comes to the point that it's not bearable or you can't be around that person anymore, you can cut ties with them or cut them off.

13. Value your alone time

When you have breaks or if you're the only one at home, value that time you have to yourself, value that peace and the silence and do something productive or spend time with yourself because when everyone comes back around, you're going to wish you could have alone time.

14. Spend time with your family

I know this is a no brainer but this is something you should really consider, especially after coming back from college spend time with your parents, go out to lunch or go to the park together and talk about how things went and talk to them about how different things were when you were gone. Your parents are going to appreciate the time you want to spend with them so take it any chance you can.

15. You do not need to always spend money with your friends

They say the best things in life are free. If you're the type of person that likes to spend time with your friends and realize you don't always want to spend money when you guys are together then that's okay. Some people don't have jobs, or some people could be saving. Just know that you do not always need to waste gas and spend money just to have a good time.

16. The lowkey boutiques and shoe places are where it's at

My mother is the queen (my queen of course) of scouting out new things. Every time we're out and we're just driving around we always seem to find a new shoe place or a little boutique. The underrated stores are the best places. I'm not really a materialistic female but I do love clothes and shoes and if I could get 2 pairs of some cute sandals cheaper than the pair you saw at Forever 21 and decided to cop them, best believe I'll get those 2 pairs from the underrated store. Moral of the story is, don't sleep on a lot of the stores or boutiques that may be around your area. And this could also go for restaurants around you as well.

17. Everything happens for a reason

As my freshman year of college is finally over, I've decided to get something off of my chest and it's been bothering me for a long time... My SAT scores. I know it might be silly because it was something that happened a while ago but for me, it still feels like I just took the test yesterday. We all know standardized testing can be a bitch. I took my SAT's and received a low score; I took them again and got the same score. Every school I applied to told me to retake my SAT's and when I did and I got the same score, I thought it was over, I thought I wasn't going to college. But for some odd reason, I got into Central. I know they say everyone that applies to CMU get in, but I honestly sat back and realized, God placed me here on purpose, I just have to figure out what that purpose is.

18. Don't judge a book by its cover

Everyone isn't like how you think they are. Before you try to judge someone try to get to know the person before you assume that they're mean because they look mean.

19. The golden rule

I'm taking it back with this one. Respect, it's simple, you get what you give. Just remember to respect someone. I like the saying "You don't have to like me but you're damn sure going to respect me."